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User talk:Tiponi
EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:46, January 26, 2015 (UTC) Re-uploaded story Please don't re-upload your deleted story. It is against the rules. If you feel your story is well-written or meets the Quality Standards criteria, make a case on deletion appeal or post it into our Writer's Workshop for comprehensive user review. If you re-upload a deleted pasta again, you will receive a 1-day suspension from editing. He's not the Messiah! He's a very naughty boy! 21:55, January 26, 2015 (UTC) :If you want to contest a deletion, you should go to Deletion Appeal. There, we will look over your pasta and decide whether or not we feel it should be allowed back on to the wiki. If you just want information on why it was deleted, I'd recommend talking to the admin that originally deleted it. Regards, He's not the Messiah! He's a very naughty boy! 22:07, January 26, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story. First and foremost, try not to indent your story or include any spaces at the start of a line as it causes that white box formatting error that can make some stories unreadable. (Luckily, I viewed it in the editor so I was able to give its overall quality a look over when I initially came across it. Additionally while on the topic of smaller things, there only needs to be one space between paragraphs. (Two or more gives the feel that you are padding it out and with longer stories, it can really stretch out. I would also strongly recommend you not start so many sentences with conjunctions. (but, and, because) as it is technically not grammatically correct and it gives the flow of the story a disjointed feel. (8+ times is a bit excessive.) Phrasing/wording issues: "You may not believe your own mind. (", and" as "but" implies a contradiction. For example: I found this to be an interesting premise, but there are some issues with its execution.) But that's fine. You can just forget about them.", "Soon, the self (hyphen needed) pity turns around and becomes anger.", "They will control you. Soon, your hostility will turn to violence. Soon, you'll have a desperate urge to kill. (redundancy with soon, substitute one with "eventually" to avoid monotony) And, if you aren't stopped, it will happen. (elaborate a bit on what will happen. This is the point where you are trying to bring the story to a crescendo. Be descriptive,", "And in your next life, your actions will twist you into a demon, (comma not needed) too. And after your death, you may just become a dream waker (Dream Waker),(comma not needed) yourself." The story: it is an interesting concept, but this feels more like the introduction to a story than the story itself. By itself, it seems sparse. (What is the driving force, where is the conflict?) Finally the last line is a bit problematic. "please (Please) don't forget about me." I take this to mean that a Dream Waker (should be capitalized as you are treating it as a proper noun) is writing all of this. How? You reference that they exist in one's mind ("They are a part of your imagination. They are essentially an imaginary friend, but with a soul.") so how is one typing this out. All in all it seems like an interesting idea, but the execution needs some work and I would really suggest expanding on this theory into something a little more definitive/descriptive/involving. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:41, January 26, 2015 (UTC) Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Dream Waker page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Sloshedtrain (talk) 09:48, January 27, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:24, January 18, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story Your story was deleted as there were numerous grammatical (it's/its), punctuation (incorrect comma usage, miss-using hyphens), wording (awkward wording), redundancy (extreme name repetition even after determining the original subject), and story issues (pointless gore and a generally rushed plot). I would get into it more, but you have a tendency to re-post stories after making minimal changes, sometimes not even fixing all the issues pointed out in the (turned down) deletion appeal so I'd prefer not to waste time. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:41, January 18, 2016 (UTC) :It's fine. I'd strongly suggest looking over our site rules as another infraction will result in a ban. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:20, January 18, 2016 (UTC)